Today’s career aspiration: Child Safety Expert
Over this past year, I read a lot of things written by child safety experts. I met a few as well when I went to the fire station to ensure my son’s car seat was installed properly. We were standing beside a fire truck and I had burning questions. If I call 911 and I’m home alone with my son, will they transport him along with me in the ambulance? Do they have a car seat, how is it installed in the ambulance and what is the weight limitation?
I tried asking these same questions at the admitting department the last time I had to have some tests done. The lady behind the glass looked at me suspiciously and said “Why? Are you planning on doing something?”I’ve also wondered how many people have died from choking on their gum after they have a car wreck? Survive the crash but take a big gasp of air in and inhale the wad of Hubba Bubba you’ve been chawing on. It’s one of my biggest fears. I stopped chewing gum because of it.
The folks at the fire station took my questions quite seriously and answered them and a million others as well. They weren’t firefighters as I had assumed. They were licensed by the state to inspect car seats. I can’t imagine taking on that responsibility. They have you sign forms declaring exactly what they told you, what type of car you drive, what type of seat you have, age and name of your child, if you wore your own seat belt on the way to the inspection – it was incredibly detailed. They won’t actually install your seat. They will show you how to do it, then unbuckle everything and have you do it. I guess then the liability lies with you since they weren’t the last person touching the seat.
When I was pregnant my partner and I attended a child safety seat class. I was so shaken by the video of what COULD happen, most of the information was a blur but we did ‘take’ the class. Even though we went back with the car seat after the class and had the instructor check it and verify it was properly installed before we even had the baby – I still wasn’t sure.The seat had to be removed and hosed down after a particularly bad spit up and when we put the seat back in, I never felt quite right about it.
There are about six different towns here that hold seat inspections and I kept going at the wrong times. Nope, it’s Tuesday at four, not Saturday at noon, you’re thinking of Milton, New Hampshire. UGH.By the time I got the time right, it was time for the next size up in car seats anyway. Still rear facing but good for another twenty pounds at least.
We are now officially inspected and installed and I watched how to do it so if the seat needs to come out again….I will be staying at home until my partner can do it again. But I hold the final say on how safe it looks.Back to the safety experts though – one of the folks was a former police officer. There was also a woman who taught classes in fire safety to small kids. We were in baby proofing mode at that point and I ventured a few questions about chewing through electrical cords and testing smoke detectors…and if they knew anyone would come to our house and do a full sweep and install whatever precautionary tools we needed. Nope – that doesn’t exist.
Being a safety expert isn’t just a notion, it’s a requirement in my life right now. The older generation used to say “You’ve got to have eyes up in your arse around youngsters.” Well that’s true, except I can’t imagine what you’d see up there. In fact, if you’re head is up there to start with, perhaps a little safety education wouldn’t go astray.My background kind of sets me up for this field anyway. Not to mention the years of experience I have judging everyone’s parenting methods and safety practices. Everything from ‘that child should have a hat on’ to ‘should she really be drinking two glasses of wine and a Guinness every night if she’s breastfeeding?’
I’m working on an article at the moment about safe holiday decorating. I counted myself way ahead of the game in this department until I took everything out of the closet this weekend and literally everything I own had a warning label that said either POISON IF LOOKED AT THE WRONG WAY or NOT FOR CHILDREN UNDER THREE.The problem I run into with this new career field is that it only tells you what not to do. I need direction. I’ll throw away all the saved garland from the 70s to avoid the possible lead poisoning and dog stomach knot tying, but what is there that can still make my house look sparkly for this, my first Christmas with my son?
Gotta run. The safety container that replaced the coffee table has been pushed to the safety gate and is being climbed up on to get to the remote control. Why aren’t any of the child-designated toys half as much fun as this?--
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